Culture Immersion and how a non-conyo survived and enjoyed a community service

Dear mouse,

If you do not know this Ateneo student who expected a nice toilet and a well-scrubbed
Aeta community where she held her culture immersion under the program JVP you are
behind the blog news.

Some conyo friend found her article in the Facebook very funny. Some people thought it is a frank and honest description of the life in an Aeta community. WTF. If the description was devoid of the usual conyo KADIRI And Rolling Eyes OMYGOD I am in hell thing, then I would not say it is just a piece of shit of BIGOTRY.

If she had written the ugliness in a settlemet community without identifying the indigenous people (Buti hindi siya pinadala sa mga tribes ng head-hunter) and she had offered some insights on how this affected her life positively as in appreciating life itself, appreciating her family for sending her to expensive educational institution, appreciating the yayas (yaya, bakit alagain pa ba siya?) exlusive ba ito sa kaniya), she would be more appreciated.

Reyna Elena published her Facebook entries about this immersion experience. I could have done mine too years ago. But I am not from an exclusive school. I was from a state university where we were required to go to the bondooks and do our community service.
But with us in the program were the students from the private universities.

Let me relate my story on how a non-conyo survived and enjoyed a community service.

While our other classmates chose the nearest community, we chose the boondock. Talagang bundok where we stayed during weekdays and came down to the settlement during weekends.

Yes, Maruja, dalawang Linggo at kung hindi ako nagkasakit, hindi kami pauuwiin bilang parusa sa aming ginawang pangbubuking sa mga “kasamaan ng mga leaders” and that is another story.

On plumbing, toilet and bathroom
Let’s admit the fact that when you are used to clean toilets, most likely, you would not feel like using an unsanitary one. But it is also a fact that there is such a thing as “namamahay”. When I was a kid, we moved to another province. Plumbing was okay. Better than the previous residence but I asked my mom if we could go back home—the house where we came from. When she asked me why, I said popopo ako. And that was already days after we moved in.

We were assigned in a rarely occupied forest ranger’s station. No toilet, no bathroom. Of course we did not expect a hotel accommodation, even a one star-hotel.

While trekking up the mountain, we got by a stream. It was only a few minutes away from the station on foot.

So when I felt that urge having to go, I went to the stream. It was a flowing stream. A ghey friend of mine came with me the first time. Security reason. Matatalas ang kuko niya.

Friend 1: Bakit ka nakaupo sa tubig?
Me: Iniimagine ko lang nasa bathtub ako.
Friend: Mader, with your jeans? Bitchslap me. And I do not suppose you brought a bubble bath with you ? (nakataas ang isang eyebrow niya habang siya ay nagpafile ng kaniyang kuko na nabali.

Me: Pasalamat ka, suot ko jeans ko kung hindi, hindi lang bubbles, makikita mo. Kailangan umilag ka.
Friend 1: Kadiri to death.
Me: Sampalin kita pag narinig ko yan saiyo ulit.

Days passed and the stream became official public toilet of my friends except for the
Conyo. Wala naman namatay na isda, in fact tumaba siguro ang iba. New menu.

Friend 2: Do you think we’re not contributing to the pollution?
Me: Gagah . That is organic fertilizer for the plants and trees. Baka yong saiyo, toxic. Doon ka na lang sa kubli ng mga wild duhat trees.
Friend 2. Anoh the last time ginawa ko yon, may nakita akong ahas na nagsasunbathing sa branch.

Then a requisition for anti-constipation for the conyo was given to the runner. The runner was the one who brought supplies for us from the “ lowland”.

Friend 2: balita ko, hindi pa sila, umeebak, maraming araw na.
Me: Sus, huwag kayong lumapit sa kanila. Deadly gas yan pag nagkataon.
Another friend: You’re so lupit naman. Naghihirap na nga sila sa inability to adjust sa life sa boondock.
Friend3: Eh bakit sila sumama kasi.
Friend 4: Ito tsismis ha. Pero ang alam ko one of the girls is pregnant.
Me and the other friends: HAAAAAH ? kaya ba mahilig sa manggang hilaw.
Me: OO bruja Kaya hindi ka pupunta sa langit kasi pinunas mo muna sa hita mo yong manggang pinabalatan niya at pinahiwa-hiwa.
Friend 5: I will just pray ten hail mary’s pero anong kala niya sa akin, yaya niya?
Friend 6: Naku, di hindi rin pala ako pupunta sa langit, kasi dinuraan ko yong pagkaing hiningi niya sa akin na akala ba niya ay waitress ako na nagsisilbi.
Me and my freinds: HAAAH Baka naman pati kami ginawan mo ng ganiyan noong nakaassign ka sa cooking. Magtapat ka kung hindi lulunurin ka naming doon sa ating toilet.
Friend 6: Malulunod ba ako doon eh hanggang binti lang ang taas ng tubig, hahaha.Kaya di ba pinagsilbihan ko rin kayo.
Me: Ingungudngud ka namin. Masama yang ginawa mo and for that parurusahan kita. Assigned ka palagi sa cooking.hahaha And I thought maganda lang ang gising mo noong araw na yon.
Friend 4: so kung pregnant siya, bakit siya nandito?
Friend 5: Kasi balak yatang ipalaglag. Kunwari naaksidente something something.
Friend 6: Kung gusto niya itulak ko siya sa ravine.
Me. Umiral na naman ang pagkacriminal mo. (Batok sa ulo).
Friend 6: Bwisit kasi ako sa naririnig ko. Yaya, ay akala ko kasi kasama ko yaya ko eh.
Pero pwede ka na rin, kunin mo nga ygon requisitioned kong toilet paper.

Me: Class, nakatoilet paper siya sa boondock.
Friend 2: ako dahon lang. hehehe
Friend3 : Ako no need, yong stream mas magaling pa sa tabo. Hohohoho
Me: Ngayon lang siya eebak.
Friend 4. Oo raw.
Friend 4: Para ko nang nakikinita. Ire dito, ire doon. Kailangan niya ng gallon ng tubig as stool softener. Parusa sa kanya.
Me: Huwag gayong ganiyan, maawa kayo sa tao. Saan daw ang toilet niya? Nasaan ang camera? *heh*

Friend 5: Balita ko doon din sa stream. Sa ibang teritoryo lang.
Friend 6: Parang gusto kong maghike at magpalamig sa stream.
Friend 1: Ako rin. Sandali kunin ko ang payong. Masisira ang kutis ko.

Kita naming nakaupo siya sa tubig. Nakashort-shorts siya.

Friend 2: Hi there, enjoying the “BUBBLE bath” ?

Siniko ko si Friend 2. Hindi makatawa si Conyo girl. Namumula ang kaniyang mukha habang umiire.

Friend 1: Baka kailangan niya ng mouth-to-mouth resuscitation? Hindi ako puwede mader. Magtathunder and lightning.

Siniko ko si Friend 1.
Tapos biglang lumaki ang mata ni Conyo girl at biglang humulagpos ang AHHHHH.

Friend 1: TIMBER. Kung sinong isda daanan noon knockout.

Itutuloy.

The Ca t